Closing your Heart

You want to close your heart,
self destruct that you're aware of.
You want it closed,
this grief you hold,
has turned into too much.

Three long years
of too much to hold
and you're down on the ground
where it's pushed you down to.
You're already off your hands and knees,
that was months ago,
laying on the ground,
staring at the sky,
praying and hoping...
just to have the weight of that greif
lightened so you can breathe again.
Just enough to breathe.

It took too long though,
hasn't it?
And you've realized that no one can help you.

So you're trying to help yourself,
push it all away and close off that heart,
that just can't take anymore.

I just hope you realize one thing.
I love you and I'm just as heavy as that weight,
and I'm not going to budge.

You can pushe me away,
and you don't have to love me,
and I'm not going to fight your decision.
I'm just not that way,
but regardless of what you do
I will always be kneeling right beside you.

And even though I can't help lift that weight,
that is crushing your chest almost every second.
I'll still be holding your hand,
and wiping your tears away with the other.

April 1, 2006